Freaky dancing til the late am

Epic performance.

Been on repeat on my playlist!

Some days...

...I made it through and then there're nights that never end.

DIST Visual Identity

Graphic Design: Martin Stousland

via notcot

Hmmm... I'm kinda liking this one.

The giant business card is pretty insane, but the whole use of b/w visuals plus the ocean blue... I like.

This is me waiting for lunch and wishing I was doing actual design work.

a whole new world outside

Feels like this weekend was one I've looked forward to the most out of all the past weekends...

just cause work has been such a pain.

Feels like I've also spent an incredible amount, but thankfully on necessary things...

which doesn't happen quite often. Haha.

I've really missed the company of my friends and sometimes it's these nights

(with a few drinks in hand) that remind me to just take it easy and chill; A real breather.

Anyway, here's something perfect for a Sunday..

I've listened to Taken by Trees a million x before and it took a while before I started to really

appreciate their music. Probably why I was never such a fan of The Concretes,

although the uncanny vocals grows on you after sometime.

Enjoy your lazy Sunday, everyone x

ceramic functional objects

Kandura Keramik by Indonesian artists.

These plastic things look so fun to wear.

Gonna stay in this weekend.

I wish the rain would last longer though.

I realized this is my perfect rainy day song.

This plus a few selected others.

So this is what it's like to lose yourself.

You just keep on going until reality presents itself, crystal clear.

p.s. Damn these working Saturdays.

There is nowhere to go but through.

Yesterday was the first time I didn't feel so much hatred towards work.

It left me exhausted, sure but perhaps I've grown to be numb to the everyday stress.

To think it was a Monday...

And today I'm on MC. HAHA.

Lovely weather we're having.

Here's one photo from my 21st.

I need to push myself to srsly upload pictures from that one time I actually brought a camera.

Anyway, feels like it's been quite some time since I had a fairly good weekend.

Friday was a breather and last night was my kind of Saturday night. .

And suddenly there's so much to look forward to in the next coming days/weeks, YAY.

Wish Sundays were longer though.

I can't believe there's an artist named Pauline Bastard. Poor girl.

Anyway, today can't get any more gloomy, can it?

People should just stay in when it's raining.

Damn, all along I thought this coming Wednesday was a holiday.

Work today was surprisingly... fast. First was lunch hour then suddenly it was going 5pm.

Weird. Gonna turn in soon...

P.S Everyday's just as mundane as ever. Zzz.

Fastforward to Wednesday, please. And then Friday-Saturday.

I need my lazy Sundays longer.

soft tailoring, directional feminine silhouettes, high quality construction

Erik Hart Holiday 2010/Spring 2011

The rest here.

Sometimes, the only way to find out if there are still people who care is to choose to let them in.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Vicky returned home to have her grand wedding to Doug.

To the house they finally planned to settle in.

And to lead the life she envisioned for herself, before that summer in Barcelona.

Cristina continued searching... certain only, of what she didn't want.

I've only caught this movie recently and I must say... It certainly made me see things in a different light.

I love how it portrays such bold personas and yet, things were still as real.

Makes me wish I could live life like that.

Anyway, I haven't written anything of sense in this journal lately.

If I could, I'd upload a picture of a blank canvas every damn day...

cause that's just everything that's me.

Goodnight.

FUCK WORK AND THE HELLHOLE I'M AT EVERY DAMN DAY :(

ready or not

OMG IM A WORKING GIRRRL.

Gone are the days when I'd send in my resume to company after company,

checking my hotmail EVERY DAMN DAY and refreshing it within minutes overnight,

getting stressed/anxious over a call for an interview and thinking "this could be it."

Seriously the longest and most frustrating wait ever.

I know I may regret choosing this company over other possible prospects,

but in all things I really just need to keep an open mind.

fingers crossed xx

A NEW LIGHT.

mental marathon is over

You know that feeling when you just really need to be elsewhere other than your own home?

It's not exactly running away but for the past few days, I just knew I wasn't so ready to face everything yet.

Perhaps you might say it's something like rehab, ironically speaking.

Well now I'm home... and it feels damn good for the first time in sooo long.

Somewhere in between, I'm afraid.

twenty one

Living in the moment.

boring 5am

I love it when my sister has her off day.

Not only do I get free meals but free stuff too! Haha.

Plus... I'm never hungry.

Anyway, slowly and patiently waiting for my Macs to arrive.

I should really start sleeping earlier.

P.S. 3 days to my birthday, which I'm anxiously dreading :/

Wish my whole family was here to celebrate with me.

stuck in reverse, there's nothing worse

You know when you're young and get lost in love?

Well, although I'm not too proud of it, I can say I've gone through it alot of times only being 21.

It's the most intense and nicest feeling to have but it could leave you in pain 10x more intense.

I've gone through guys after guys and somehow, even if my most recent relationship wasn't the longest and the most perfect,

it was and still is the one I'd say I've treasured the most. I was both happy and sad but heck,

I was in love. I think the only difference between being lost in love then and now is that I knew something wasn't right (now).

But I still chose to go on with it cause you never really know when you'll feel that closeness with that person again...

which in all honesty, I was never really ready to give up just yet.

I honestly thought it would be my biggest regret due to the pain caused, but now that I think about it,

it's just another learning experience for me.

For now, I'm tired.

And I think it's about time that I put my emotions to rest.

:(

heartache.

I want to be uncomplicated and feel infinite.

Don't you just love it when you're all clean and fresh from a warm shower, hair still wet,

listening to your favorite songs and aircon's just in the right temp... as the night comes to a close and transits to the wee hours?

I do.

P.S. Hope this weekend passes in lightning speed!

I don't want anyone talking about Avalon :(

Today, the universe gave me a second chance.

It's 2am and I've yet to move away from my comp. Gahhhh, so lazyyy.

So anyway, I had my 2nd interview today at another advertising agency called AvenueOne.

It was all the way in Commonwealth which I initially was clueless about and to sum it up,

I'd say it wasn't the best of interviews. Adam, the main boss, told me how their company

does really boring work. How most of their clients are banks and how my style is very far off

from what they do. I mean, come on... I'm a freshgrad and I suppose I gotta start somewhere.

He's seen my portfolio online so I've assumed that by getting me to come down,

I had a slight chance in this company. Idk, but seems to me he's quite iffy about giving me that shot.

Oh ya, he also said my style was very goth? WTH.

I'm starting to feel that I'm really more cut out for graphic design than advertising.

Although I always thought I'd excel more in the latter...

Well apart from all that, I had a fairly good day :)

P.S. I.NEED.TO.SHOP..... BADLY.

Snacking on crispy caramel flavoured apple chips whilst endlessly sending out emails

for people to hire me... Godddd, this is too sinful.

new light

So it's true. There comes a point in everyone's life when all you have is yourself to rely on.

Not cause people have left your side, but sometimes you just have to understand

that these people won't always be available.

And guess what? I'm home on a Saturday night. It's not the first indeed, but somehow

I was dreading this weekend real bad cause I knew then that it would have to be a first for many things.

I tried to make plans but turns out everyone just seems too busy. It got a little frustrating

so I've decided to just stay in, order Macs, read my book and savor all the time I have for myself.

You know how people are in such a rush to move on after a break-up?

How they force as much into keeping themselves really busy just so the thoughts

and emotions won't come rushing? It's totally reasonable and I guess handling it

is different for everyone, but I realized that although I was able to keep my mind off things

a little this whole week- going out and staying out late as much as possible- the more I succumb to it.

Instead of letting things fall into place, I was too preoccupied with moving on and to be honest,

I just made it even harder for myself. I even forgot that the reason why he gave me up

is cause I needed to learn how to be on my own, grow and maybe find that inner peace.

I'm gonna order my Macs now.

Hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday night x

Sometimes it's hard to believe that I've gone this far...

and still alive.

oh nooo

So I had my interview today for this advertising firm called Formul8. It was all the way in Duxton Hill...

you know, aligned with all the artsy shophouses and irish pubs, very near red dot.

I'd say it was pretty intimidating to even be setting foot in that area just cause it really gives off that

whole indie/designer vibe. I met the art director, Helmut and had a pretty good chat with him.

He was honest and direct about how demanding this industry is. Truth be told, I was a little taken aback

by the image he tried to paint me. I have my worries, definitely but if I do end up working there,

there's seriously no time for play.

Oh well, crossing my fingers for Monday's interview.

I think I might need a drink.

I'm not gonna lie, I still pretty much think about you day and night..

and as much as I really do try my best to stray away from thoughts of us,

it's something I can't seem to escape from.

But with all that said, I'm still grateful...

Cause you never really left.

x

Maybe I'm speaking too soon, but guess what?

I'm starting to feel alright.

Somehow tonight and last night bring me back to how it all started out...

I'm pretty sure this isn't me being too hopeful.

I don't know what it is but it makes me smile silly to myself :)

uhhh-mazing

oh no, a cigarette can't cover up the mess I'm in

But it makes me feel less lonely, again and again

I want another day with you

the fourteenth

I think that one thing I'm most afraid of right now is knowing the closeness we once had is partly gone.

It keeps hitting me like a bitch. Sooo damn hard... it's almost too impossible to fight it back.

It's like that day you finally choose or want to be numb to everything,

is when you actually feel a shitload of emotions. All in one go.

God, I miss you so much...

I have so many things I wanna let out but I'm afraid that by doing so,

my feelings might just eat me up alive.

Lord, help me out here.

Even the closest one to me right now can make me hit rock bottom.

Now I'm alone.

Maybe I'm better off like this anyway.

Maybe I never even had anyone in the first place.

get close, i love to feel your hair

so here we are

I don't think it's even about being tactless irregardless of what your intentions are anymore,

or about me being emotionally unstable over countless things at the moment...

It's come to that point wherein you're always just going to be looking for something more.

I'm tired of this chase.

I miss our tales of sheer happiness.

When will it ever feel like my time here is worth it?

It's like I never even left.

Cause things are still depressingly the same.

I miss home so much.

It's settled. I'm definitely not attending the convocation this coming weekend.

Wow, a huge weight lifted off me... you've no idea...

Why is it that the only time you make me feel needed is when you're at your lowest?

Today I enjoyed having a fairly good chat with you and esp hearing alot of nice things,

but the only thing that somehow stood out from our conversation was me being at fault for your misery.

I think this might be the start of letting go;

I can't feel a thing. Goodnight.

The Wangfluence, they say

Gassppppp! I know this is pretty overdue, but Dries Van Noten/Paris Fall 2010 is pretty kickass.

These are my favorites from the collection, butttt esp digging the 2nd look.

So simple but so chic. The oversized sweater def owns it.

On a diff note... Counting down to my return to Sg!

At least I get to dress up in layers and cover up again. Not exactly digging Manila weather.

take me away; always away

Colours I'm really digging right now... yum.

Believe it or not, my wardrobe's got a whole lot of hues going on lately.

Sometimes it gets kind of frustrating to have a boyfriend who's not as open minded

as I am towards fashion. I mean, I'm no high-end elitist when it comes to dressing and labels,
but I definitely have much appreciation/an eye for clothing/style. I can stay online for hours,
just browsing through tons of lookbooks and the likes. I could stay on a single site overnight,
just planning what to buy for the next spree. Leave me in ION by myself for a whole afternoon

and I'll go bankrupt.

etc, etc, etc...

But then again, I love him for being that boyfriend who doesn't completely understand all this,
just cause he's a real deal... guy. I love that.

live and let go

It's definitely not in my nature nor in my heart,

but right now, it just makes perfect sense to me...

here we are, we are

Been living off them feel good music lately.

Everyday, everywhere, people are so alive

I'm so stupid for being such a fool for you at times.

Fuck.

Things to go hunt for before I leave...

Those stones are too pretty.

We know the Alice Cullen look is big onscreen,

but trust us - there's nothing sexier than actually looking alive.
-FARAN KRENTCIL

lookbook staple transformation

(via Ever)

If there's one look I'd undyingly love to own, this would be a winner.

The first one totally grows on me. Love the classic, tomboy feel.

Amidst all the the has beens + etc, somehow I feel a slight sense of alienation.

So much irony in this...

Miles apart and you're still a douche.

We used to be the luminary ones

Bullet Proof

Awesome jewelry by Marion Vidal- I want.

If you fall hard, I'll fall harder

damage ctrl

TIME FOR CHANGE.

I DIE

Home sweet home after what seems like an eternity.

I missed this place.

p.s.

[02:42] brandon.: missed you

I'll see you soon sweetie.

IM TOO LAZY TO FILL THIS SPACE UP, SO LET ME JUST SAY...

VIVA España!!!
Watched the game over at Jingty's place together with Calvin and as time passed,
each of us had to tear away our tickets :( Since I was the only virgin wolrd cup fan,
I swear I was the most fickle HAHAHA It wasn't the most enjoyable game to watch,
but a goal is a goal & a win is a win!

We watched Germany's match the previous night as well over at Winebar, and I believe
that was more intense since it was my first time betting! It wasn't big bucks, but it was
definitely a kickass game for all of us. Apart from that, it was Brandon's first time ever
to actually hangout with me and my friends so snaps for that!!

Leaving in 3 days time, xx

I always believed that I was born nothing more than ordinary.
I wasn't so much a of a child prodigy growing up and the things I like- pretty typical stuff.
Most people here like to associate me with fashion, the colour black and weird.
It doesn't really come as a surprise to me, but it would be nice to be other things too.
I never really liked to be defined- heck, I myself can't even give a proper definition as to what
or who I am.Maybe it's cause I was never really born ordinary in the first place.

You know I'm not asking for perfection.
Do you feel the stillness in my heart?

idle mind

I've so many things running in my head, yet I can't even begin to write about a single thought.
Hmmm... Feels like I only come here when I'm upset over things. Lol.

Well, things have been relatively okay.
All I'm really looking forward to is Home.

heart pain

Sometimes it feels as if it's so hard for you to want me.
One day you'll say you're just not in the mood for anything at all...

Do you know what it feels like to hear such?

I change shapes just to hide in this place

weekend overview

karate kid with Brandon (thumbs uppp) + last minute zouk (england cheers/stupid techtonic moves/puke fest) +
lazy sunday with B (ate til full/outfit searching hehehe my boyfriend izz a fashionistaa) + sleeping mad early!!!

Happy 4th :)

Staying in on a Friday night isn't so bad after all, even if I'm just stoning half the time. HA.
Everyone is either inviting me to go join in the world cup fever or go club, zzz.
I still feel a slight tinge of happiness though, cause...
- I just bought stuff online!
- Got myself a pair of brogues!
- Went for threading (like finallyyy)
- Best of all, I got to see Brandon after what seems like lightyears! (missed you chubzz!)
- & of course I got myself some KOI hahaha

Yes, I'm shallow like that.
Designer Drugs tomorrow Y/N?

p.s. Aaahhhh, I really wanna go on a short getaway..
Someone bring me anywhere far far away from amk.

naked me

Hmmm... so this is what it's like to be out of school, jobless and rotting.
But then again, I'll be eating my words in no time- Retake starts next week!
Oh ya, someone contacted me for a freelance job today too (out of nowhere),
but had to turn it down. Sigh.

Things have been... well, different. Not the best days lately but today I had my KOI bubble tea (!!!)
and listened to my untouched playlist for months. KOC and Radiohead never get old.

I miss my boyfriend.

the 9th

I pray that something picks me and sets me near you,
a place where i can enamor you from a distance.

All these uncertainties...
Tell me I'm not the only one feeling it.

favorite boy forever

truth be told

"Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy.
Maybe it’s this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from
ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to states of bliss,
the more confused we get - to the point where we don’t recognize ourselves.
Instead we just keep smiling - trying to be the happy people we wish we were.
Until it eventually hits us, it’s been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes
but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar."

3:37am, Goodnight.

I miss you. I can't find any other set of words to sum up how I'm feeling right now, but that.
See you in a week plus' time.

Now that I'm officially free from the living hell hole that we call NAFA...

I AM BORED.

Loner

Sometimes I think to myself that I'll never find that contentment
I've been wanting to feel for so long. It's not that I choose not to,
more like it's a tad bit difficult to see the good stuff I got going on
in my life cause on most days, I just feel so empty, there's barely
any good feeling left inside of me.

I wasn't always like this, I swear.
But I thought having you would help mend the wounds a little.

xx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON TSANG!!!

Most days, I just want it to be you and me
cause I can't quite recall that feeling anymore.

This last week of school saw me getting killed.
Glad it's over. Yup, won't even dwell a bit on how assessment almost swallowed me in alive.
Time to live again. I hope.

some things never change

I realized I've been handling all this crap on my own since day 1.
And it's only gotten into me now.
Thinking about it... I'm afraid.

when will it stop

My world is spinning,
with or without you.

LOST.

i miss you brandon tsang!

P.S. I'm so fucking sleepy/hungry :(

Hell's Gate

Ohmyyyyyyyyy, time check: 1:13 am and I still haven't touched
a single shit on my fyp since I got home.

What a wasted Friday!!!

you and me x infinity

2 months and a lifetime more with you :)

insanity x crumbling walls

I'm craving for steamboat/sushi/abalone noodle.
Someone take me out for a date today.

8:42pm
I just ordered in Macs and had the usual mcspicy meal and tried the cinnamon stuff they have.
Ohmygod, serious diabetes kicking in soon.

Anyway, today I had a sudden breakdown due to fyp stress.
I'm not happy with any of my current designs, so I'm now back to square 1;
sketching, inking, scanning.
Gaaahhhh, hoping to finish my poster/flyer/mini catalogue this weekend.

HELLO FRIDAY NIGHT

Hmmm... It's been a while.
School's taking over, no doubt.
5 more weeks left to either doomsday or freedom.

Please let it be the latter.

You know how girls like to cut their hair after a breakup?
I cut mine tonight without that intention, but...

WASTED FRIDAY 1:08am

Where are you?

You're making it harder for me to hold on...

At the end of the day, it's me you've got.
Tell me it goes both ways?

p.s. holy cowww so many mosquitoes are feasting on me!!!
itching like fuuuuck. time to order macs! panda eyes sobsss

I wish you knew

p.s. fuck off & ask for favors from your own bf